So if you’ve ran across this blog you’ve probably noticed that it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. Hey, it happens. Right? I keep thinking I’m going to remedy this and it keeps getting pushed off. The truth is.. my head has been everywhere but certain productive aspects. And while, I’m thinking about this I wanted to get it out.
There’s been some personal things I’ve been dealing with over the last few years, and over the last year I feel I’ve lost myself to several areas of those things. Someday I’ll explain that further so you aren’t left scratching your head and wondering what the hell I’m talking about. But in the mean while, this is something I’ve been working on. And lately I’ve been thinking I want to channel all this stuff that is running through my head into one element. While I should be thinking blog, my head goes foremost to book. So, I’ve been thinking, and I’m going to write it here to hold me accountable, that I am going to write a book, The Ugly Maria book. It will talk about insecurities, fear, all the daily things that we allow to get in our ways of progress, and ultimately, how to get out of your way to make the life you want. Now I know this idea isn’t new. However, from my point-of-view it is. I want to be able to tell my story of all of the above and how I go about overcoming them so that perhaps I can help you if you face the same things. Because as much as we always think we are alone, we never are. What do you think?
Deep within your twisted dreams,
Streams of blackened smoke surround;
Shrouded thoughts of darkness keep.
Guardian hold you
Slow to dancing light,
Spraying comfort to linger till eyes open;
Rise and leave these pains trapped in sleep.
Hope is the thing
With feathers that circles in the soul
Singing the tune without words never stopping, never shall
And sweetest in the surf is heard
Soaring beat with the storm
That could silence the little Lovebird
Keeping so many warm
I’ve heard it in the frozen lands
And on the reddest seas
Yet never have I heard it ask
Any song of me
Sweetly said you are my everything
Through the woods and rocky shapes
Nothing said, nothing moved
Perfect still as the moments before
So I am so behooved
To tell you thus
Shamefully blushed you know it all
But sweetly said you are
Stretching defiantly into the air it wavered sweet,
Aiming for any shoe, any shoe that would just grab him;
Driving for another who would mirror the things he sought,
Wishing for that one loafer in which he could be caught.
Forcefully and maniacally it came before he knew,
Sweeping the slimy stickiness from the gravel pavement.
“At last,” he swooned as wind rushed madly through his open arms,
As sneaker scrapped so ferociously maiming all his charms.
i never saw any so pretty
as those the night before
the blaze was ever burning
ashes sifted, scattered to the earthen floor
faces shifted with dying screams
timber screeching, reaching into the darken sore
but i never saw any so peaceful
as those stars outreached above
blinded to the people crying
so removed from pain and gore
it is the easiest thing
just rolls off the tongue
a breeze that you sail upon
good-bye you yell
as they bellow back
a regular linguist don juan
it takes hours this joyful bliss
a confident builder plus
a public mess
that lifts the spirit
it’s a beater of the bust